Tips, Tips, HOLY SHIT---- TIPS! Obscure Z-list Bloggers to Famous A-Listers

Okay so, this is my third day blogging. On a blog I intend to keep for a while, unless I get bored and decided that blogging isn't worth a shit because no one listens or READS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! I'm sure many other aspiring A-listers feel the same way I do. No one cares what I have to say; I can't generate any audience at all; My comment boxes say 0 comments every single day because I suck.

Well, the only way to get better at ANYTHING is to practice, practice, practice and that's something that I'm going to do. I am going to post here on this blog until forever. I am going to make myself sit here and write every single day. I will frequently sit down and brainstorm blog topics, widgets/gadgets I can add, photos, etc. I will sit down at my computer and search the internet for hours, stalking new websites and youtube channels until I find something completely interesting to comment on and post up here.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT NO MATTER WHAT. So any of you novice bloggers out there, like myself, don't give up hope. Ever. One day, you're going to post something great, and generate a fair amount of people.


Three Tips for making a successful Blog (or at least a blog that some might find interesting):

1) Hard Work Pays Off - There are hundreds of other people out there looking to become a successful blogger - so you've GOT to work hard to get noticed. Yeah, it might even take a couple of years to become a well-recognized blogger. You think Perez Hilton had it easy? Sure as hell not! He worked his ass off to become a blogger as most majorly successful bloggers do. So, spend hours at your computer, write yourself up outlines of your posts, post everyday, and I sure you, your hard work will pay off.

2) CONTENT, CONTENT, CONTENT!!! - Without good content, no one is gonna wanna read your daily rants! Proof-read, don't contradict yourself, and most importantly, find something interesting to talk about! No one wants to read about how you sat around and picked your nose all day. People wanna about something juicy, or funny, or controversial. For example: How big of a whore Miley Cyrus is or Lady Gaga: Man, Woman, or BOTH? (My guess is both). People want to read about how awesome our President is or how awesome he's not! Go ahead! Have fun with it! Insult people, praise people, rant about an idea or event or go to an event and post pics from it! Heck, you could even stalk a local celebrity or politician and post it! Use lots of loaded language because people love reading that shit, man!


3) HEADLINES, HEADLINES, HEADLINES - Actually put some thought into writing your headline.   Headlines are the most important piece of your blog, aside from content. You have to make the readers care, you have to grab their attention. Draw them in with a catchy headline, good, now you've got their attention. Make them care with great content. Don't just write some silly, plain title such as: Day 210 of Nosepicking or Me and Sally or Hanging out With Bob. DO SOMETHING FUN. Only use plain titles if you've got some kind of nobility behind the post. For example, Hanging Out With Barack Obama is MUCH more interesting than Hanging Out With My BFF Bob. Nobody cares about your BFF Bob so therefore, nobody is going to care about a plain title. The same way nobody is going to care about this post because I am still, yes indeed, an inexperienced, Z-List Blogger. Like you.

4) Marketing is Key - Market your blog! Do everything in your power to get your voice heard, to get your site out there! Sign up for Twitter and Facebook, post links EVERYWHERE! Also, using Blog Directories is also a good source of attention and traffic. Definitely tell friends, even get some small-time celebrities to possibly friend you or, if they're nice enough, to post your links on their Twitter or Facebook status. Make deals with other aspiring internet A-Listers. For example, if you see a youtube channel that you find interesting and want to feature their videos on your blog, ask if they'll in return post up a link to your blog or mention it in a shout-out video or something. JUST DO ANYTHING TO LET IT BE KNOWN THAT YOU ARE HERE AND HERE TO DAMN PARTY!


5) Lastly, and finally PERSONALITY - Make your blog personal. Don't talk at the readers, talk to them.  Make them feel like they can relate to you, that you could be friends with them. Include pictures of yourself, videos of yourself, and actually respond to their comments if there are any. MAKE LOTS OF ONLINE FRIENDS! Because those definitely help traffic. Get in touch with your blogging community. I personally, as you can see, like to put a picture of myself at the end of each post so that the readers can see who they are talking to and that I'm just a regular idiot. Don't get too personal though, because remember, you don't want to seem conceited or full of yourself -- BADD!!! SO BADDDD!!! :)



I created this post so I could help people like you and me. People who really do need some help. Because don't we all? I'm not the best out there, but I just think that sharing ideas is an awesome way to become creative. Maybe that other person thought of something you didn't, considering every one thinks differently.

                                      Well folks, this has been Jessica! Now I'm outie 3,000!

P.S. - Meet my little baby! Ain't he cute? :P

12/19/10 - Debunking 2012

Just Jess

12/19/10

Debunking 2012

Second Post EVERRR!

The End is near my friends; isn’t it a shame that the nuts holding up the cardboard message were right?

My answer : NO! HELL NO! These people are just as right as the stupid ass Mayans. Tell me something, how could an ancient civilization with no scientific technology or knowledge of SHIT predict the end of the world? As if that’s not ridiculous enough, the Mayan calendar, which alledgedly purports that mankind meet it’s doom on 12/21/2012, has been interpreted wrong.

For all you superstitious idiots out there who are probably thinking that I’m wrong, (yeah I’m not an anthropologist or whatever) guess what? LOOK THIS SHIT UP! That’s where I found the answers. I seriously doubt there are any secret governmental conspiracies about this one. Although Illuminati might be real, I highly doubt anyone will ever know when the world is to end. It could happen at anytime, any place. IT COULD HAPPEN RIGHT NOW AS I AM TYPING THIS!!!! Scienticists can’t even figure out why we dream, and human anatomy has been studied for how long now? Much longer than the Mayans were around.

To tell you the truth, I don’t even think that anyone really believes in this supposed apocalypse. People like drama. Everyone likes drama, even if it’s just a little bit. We all need a little drama, something to be excited about, or else our lives would be boring. So, to start 2012 rumors and even make money off of it (the movie 2012 made a killing in the box office, even though the effects sucked ass), could be a good thing. There’s money to be made and people to be entertained, what other way to do that than tell them all they’re going to die!

This has been Jessica! Now I'm outie 3,000! 

First Post - Teenagers are stupid.

First post ever!

Glad to be back, blogger friends...

I've done numerous blogs before. Detailing my life, my feelings, my telephone numbers and adresses. I've lost a lot of friends, I've come to some really low sinking/melting points, and I finally grew UP. I matured, I am a young woman, and although I'm not fully grown or experienced, I'm also not the little girl I once was.  Since moving away from my hometown, I have changed SO much and seen SO much and experience SO much. It's made me realize that there are bigger things than who's wearing the same thing as me, or who's texting who behind my back. There are bigger things than dating Louis Nye and skating down the sidewalk in the middle of December in a yellow dress!

I've also learned that just because you feel mature doesn't mean that you are. At 15, I felt like I was 25 and could do anything. I snuck away on Greyhound buses to New York to meet boys. I was entirely conceited, and thought I was the best thing going. I was the prettiest, I had the best hair, I was tall and skinny, I was a model, I had the best clothes, the best everything. I didn't realize that there are more things more important than life, and that life is way too short to be living it like a conceited bitch. I didn't realize it until this year and I'm 20. Yeah, twenty is still a really young age. But most people grow up and out of teenagedom by 18. I was still acting like I was in high school and looked like a complete idiot. I had NO friends and even my friends from childhood weren't talking to me.

I'm really writing this because there are so many girls out there who are like me, and I think it's a very common experience. We need to share our thoughts, experiences, and feelings. Our voices are the most important thing and the only way we can be heard is if we speak out. Girls like this will fall before they can reach any part of success or happiness, because I did. I have made so many mistakes and been so down and out, and it's made me realize the true evils of the world and the true good of the world. Teenage girls need to wise up, but most of them probably won't until they experience what I have.

This has been Jessica. Now I'm outie 3,000! :)